New Year? Yes! New You? No Thanks!

Welcome to 2022! What a year 2021 has been. I hope you all had an amazing holiday season and woke up today grateful and happy. January 1st has always held a bit of anxiety for me, I was one of those that made resolutions every year. I would rock it for a month, a week, sometimes a few days, then I’d fail miserably and just throw in the towel. It’s another year of “New Year, New You” mentality. The energy around it is strong- e-mails, commercials, sales, social media, it all adds to this energy. It’s definitely strong, but not with me, not this year. After reading this, I hope not with you either.
I no longer set resolutions, I set my intentions, but I do this all year long. Every day. It has nothing to do with a “new me.” When did the whole “new you” thing take over? What the hell is wrong with the old you? Scratch that, what’s wrong with you? Absolutely nothing! We all have things we need to let go of, and things we want to strive for, but neither negates you. Who we become is absolutely because of who we’ve been. The whole “new you” mentality loses that. It craps on everything you have done and been through by telling you it’s time to be “new.”
There are lots of resolutions we make- lose weight, stop drinking, build muscle, buy a home, get a new job, the list goes on. None of those things make you a new you. Same you. Same game, maybe a new board. You can paint the walls any color you’d like, but the house remains the same. If we don’t take care of the foundation, it means nothing how much paint we use or how many times we rearrange. This is the point of intentions, we decide what we want our space to look like but while caring for our foundation with love and gratitude. So many times we look at what we want while hating what we have. Let’s talk weight, since this is a struggle I know and love/hate. I can spend all my time creating unrealistic goals and hating who I am, deciding that if I don’t look one way than I’ll never be enough. Or, I can make choices that fuel me and make me feel better, stronger, all the while be grateful for the body that has and continues to sustain me.
I believe that resolutions give us the idea that who we are isn’t enough and unless we create a “new you” we will always be not enough. When those resolutions fall through or we slip off our path, “fumble” just once, we decide a new you is impossible and give up. A “new you” is impossible, it doesn’t exist. There is just you! And just you is more than enough. This would happen to me year after year. I would set my resolution and say January 1st the diet begins! Meanwhile December 31st I’m binge eating all the foods I can’t have starting the 1st. I wake up bloated and gross and not feeling very new. I do fine for a few days maybe weeks, then I inevitably want chocolate. Since chocolate is a no no when I break down and get it I binge it. Then I feel worse and like a failure. Here is the deal, I like chocolate! I like cake and cookies. Who doesn’t? They’re delicious! Setting an intention to take better care of my body doesn’t mean I can’t have chocolate! It just means that I focus on why I want to binge eat or why I don’t think I’m worthy of being strong or fit. It’s about balance. Who I’ve been and who I want to be are the same people, and they both love chocolate!
Balance is key and it’s the collective theme of this new year, so remember that as you set your intentions and move forward. It isn’t about a new you, not about a new year, it’s just about you. Knowing where you’ve been and where you want to be and finding the balance between the two is all you need. Be grateful for every part of you, especially the parts you need to let go of. Like not being able to know joy without pain, you can’t know or appreciate who you become without loving and appreciating who you’ve been. Not a new you, just you learning and evolving. A butterfly doesn’t hate the caterpillar, they emerge transformed and different but between those beautiful wings still lies the caterpillar in all its glory. Embrace the balance and love yourself, for who you are, who you’ve been and who you’ll become. You can’t be become the butterfly without first being the caterpillar. Both matter, both are beautiful, and both have amazing purpose.
The one thing I’m ready to let go of is the 2021 energy of all or nothing. It doesn’t matter where you start or how fast you get there, all that matters is you. Make the changes you want to, let go of everything that no longer serves you, embrace everything that fuels you, and compare this to no one. Find your balance and you’ll find your joy.
Happy New Year! ❤️